[to Somatics on the WWWeb]
American restaurants have quaint customs that make dining a'la Americaine a most memorable experience.Coffee
Everyone likes their coffee just so -- so much cream (or black), so much sugar (or not), just the right temperature, etc.So why is it the waiter pounces to fill your cup like a hawk on a rabbit every time he or she sees it is half empty? Is he afraid we'll get angry if we run out of coffee (in which case, maybe we've had too much!) Does he think we'll think the restaurant is short on coffee if he doesn't refill our cup constantly? That we'll think they're stingy with the coffee? Do they think we're more concerned with the temperature of the coffee (scalding hot) than how it tastes? Do they think if they keep our coffee hot enough, we won't notice how it tastes? What's the story?
Ice-water
Little-known fact in America: they don't serve ice in water in Europe. When they serve water, they serve water. You can drink it to quench your thirst without freezing your throat and making your chest hurt.Imagine that being so in America: water served without ice. Just a glass of water. Gives the impression of being poor, doesn't it? Like the poor Europeans after the war. Ice in water is wealth. "Look", it says, "we have ice! We're not poor!"
Ask for water without ice, they look at you like you're from Outer Space. So they serve the water without ice -- ice cold. So, next time, you're smarter; you order "room temperature water". Then, they really look at you like you're from Outer Space. They ask, "Is water from the tap all right?" I thought that's where it all comes from.
It doesn't matter where or what season; restaurants serve water with ice. It could be twenty below zero. What can they be thinking? "Our customers need to cool off." Or, "We'll look better if there's ice in the water." Ice as decoration; ice as entertainment. Ice as meaningful communication: "Look! We have ice! We're a regular restaurant!"
It would make sense in the deep south during the lazy days of summer. It's so hot, no one wants to move. Even sweating is an effort. Nothing like an icy lemonade to cool things off.
But it doesn't seem to matter to restaurants.
Hot or not, the water must have ice.
Restaurant Restrooms
They say that the restaurant business is a hard business. Maybe I can help them out.You may have noticed that in many restaurants, the restroom isn't as, shall we say, tasteful as the rest of the restaurant.
A restaurant deals with food, and where food is concerned, what goes in must come out. You want to feel comfortable enough in a restroom to stay there as long as you need to. Yet, so often, the restroom of a restaurant is the last place in the world you would want to be.
Why do they let it get that way? Do they think people don't notice?
Generally, you can tell that a restaurant is a "better" restaurant by the appearance and smell of its restroom. It looks good; it smells good. Makes you want to go back, sit down at your table, and eat.
In many restaurants, however, the restroom looks so-so and the smell is enough to make you lose your appetite. You know what I mean? You don't want to breathe. You get back to your table gasping for air.
This is good for business?
Such restaurants would do better if they didn't have a restroom, or if they made the restroom as restful as the rest of the restaurant.
Waiters
They used to call them "waiters"; now they call them "wait-persons".Why do they call them "wait-" anything?
I know. Here's the scenario that explains it: You've just finished giving your order and you have an afterthought. Too late. The waiter is gone less than a second after your last words were out of your mouth. The afterthought weighs on your mind. You want to call after him: "Wait!"
Hence -- waiter.
No, that can't be right. You're the waiter, waiting for the guy to come back.
So, you wait a while. You see him coming. Here's your chance. He sets the plates down. You look down at your meal. You look up. He's gone.
Still, your newly-arrived meal looks good. You can't wait. You pick up your fork and taste it. Somewhere in the wait between when the food was ready and when your waiter brought it to your table, it has "cooled" somewhat.
Now you have to wait for your waiter to return so you can send it back. Then, of course, you wait some more 'till he brings it back, again!
After you've eaten, there's "waiting to pay". Waiters are very considerate, so they wait as long as possible before bringing the check. They want to give you a chance to savor that sense of fullness before bringing you the "news" -- what your meal cost you.
So you see, the term, "waiter", is a misnomer. The customers are all waiters, and the waiters? Well, since they uphold the customs observed in the restaurant -- they're obviously the customers. It's all in reverse.
Here's the final oddity: tipping. The word "TIP" is an abbreviation for the phrase, "To Insure Promptness". After all that waiting, you tip your waiter to insure promptness. Too late. But a quaint custom.